25REBLOG4940REBLOG321REBLOG12001REBLOG"There is never a sudden revelation, a complete and tidy explanation for why it happened, or why it ends, or why or who you are. You want one and I want one, but there isn’t one. It comes in bits and pieces, and you stitch them together wherever they fit, and when you are done you hold yourself up, and still there are holes and you are a rag doll, invented, imperfect. And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way."Marya Hornbacher
"You say this is amazing.
It does not feel amazing, spectacular, or any other words you get
on a sticker the teacher puts on your first grade report card.
This feel distinctly like do or die.
Like a trapped animal deciding to eat her leg off
in order to escape.
But I could never quite do it.
I was never completely free.
You say this is amazing.
It does not feel like it.
It feels like a scared little girl who keeps
old pill bottles in her dresser
just in case.
Who still seeks security and approval
from those whose opinions matter the least.
It feels like I am a fugitive
running from myself."Michelle K., When My Therapist Calls My Recovery ‘Amazing.’ (via michellekpoems)